BOOK REVIEW: BOOTS BELTS BERETS

Tanushree Podder is a brave woman. No I’ve never met her and neither do I say this because she decided to marry an Army officer. I say so after reading her book “Boots Belts Berets”. To write about a topic so bizarre while at the same time so emotional (for the people connected to it) must have required tremendous effort. In the prologue she writes that it was her jealousy towards her husband’s undulating affection for his “coursemates” that prompted her to get inquisitive in the first place and then to write about it. All those strange incidents that sounded weird to her (if at all they made any sense) seemed to be extremely close to her husband and his coursemate’s hearts.

The book takes us through the three years of trials and tribulations at the National Defence Academy. We get to experience the making of “men form boys” through the eyes of a group of four cadets with one of them narrating their daily rigours. The book is not a history of the NDA, nor any sort of guide to succeed in it - I wonder if any such a guide can ever be written - it is just a description of the life at the academy as Podder could reconstruct from the reminisces of her disband. But more on that later.

The book is set at the turn of the 60s (because that is when her husband was at the academy and hence she could only relate to experiences of that age) with our dreamy eyed protagonist Nikhil Dutta setting foot at “Poona” station unaware as to how big a step he has taken. The day he lands at the hallowed portals of the squadron he is in for a shock of his life. Things are just not as he assumed they would be. For starters there are werewolves all round calling themselves “seniors”. The peculiar thing of this species is that they never run out of jobs to assign to “juniors” and then have an even stronger penchant to dole out punishments en masse. Nikhil finds punishments with rosy names like “seventh heaven” are exactly the opposite of what they sound.

Just as our youngster is thinking of how he would survive in this place for three years, he stumbles upon the solution. To deal with the “seniors” there exists yet another species in the academy, named “coursemates”. They do not override the predators, but certainly help you in dealing with them much better and at times escaping also. Therefore start the long list of (mis)adventures by our quartet of Bertie, Randy, Machh and Pessi. Along the way these four learn a totally different way of lie. Away from the normal pleasures a young boy of their age deserves, they are instead put through the rigours of never ending runs, drills and worst of all, punishments. But in every event they discover a new person in themselves and in people around them.

As they go through the terms getting senior and turning themselves into the seniors whom they hated some months ago, they feel the outright change that has been brought into them in the course of their training. At home they are not looked upon in the same way they were before joining the academy. At the academy they are just not what they thought they would become. In all these differences what is common is their attraction to the opposite sex, penchant for eating and the ability to face the sternest tests which are thrown their way at amazing regularity. Podder has not shied from recounting even the more perverse and uncommon things that go in at NDA. Be it the surreptitious smoking, infatuations or rendezvous into uncharted territories, she has mentioned them all at some point in the book.

However along the way are several errors. Not any glaring blunders, but subtle mistakes that no one else could catch other than those who have been privileged to have undergone the three years at NDA (or a similar academy). She has certainly rushed through the book trying to cover every bit in about 250 pages, in the process not justifying some big milestones in a cadet’s life. There is no mention of the gruelling camp Rovers, neither of the Hexas or the Bakshi cup. Even the coup de grace for any cadet - his passing out has not deserved a chapter and instead been consigned to just a paragraph. For anyone having seen it all, this is a huge let down. Also the importance given to the fairer sex and wanderings of the quartet is way beyond normal. If any cadet were to behave as our protagonists do, he would need a miracle to stay put in the academy for more than a couple of terms. I do not fault her completely for it because as I have mentioned before, the book is just a collection of thoughts that she could gather form her husband’s reminisces. Or more pertinently, it is her understanding and interpretation of those reminisces. For someone who has not been there, done that, many incidents will sound absurd and some monumental achievements might seem a passing matter.

For example the case where she describes juniors duping their seniors/instructors is just not taking as casually as she brings it out to be. At the same time no cadet is afforded the luxury of spare time our quartet seems to have on their hands almost every evening. Then there are many things that she missed out on the daily schedule of the cadets. Was this because her husband did not mention them or because she wanted to limit her book, I do not know. However as I see it the book only gives a selective glimpse of academy life. It does not give a holistic picture of the academy life through which a layman can understand the workings and the culture of NDA.

Having said that, for NDA alumnus the book has several moments to make them feel nostalgic and for the eyes go moist. While for the normal person reading it, it might sound very gallant and equally juvenile in parts. It would be a roller coaster ride at the end of which the final image would be quite convoluted but generally impressive overall. On behalf of Podder I must say again that it is indeed a brave and honest effort. It is just that the subject she chose has so much hidden in it, that it would be impossible for anyone to gouge out all the details. Now only if she could have devoted some more pages to the book.

BOOK REVIEW: A WALK IN THE WOODS

Well it’s been very long since I wrote here. Actually I love sports and hence like to write about it. Therefore I started this blog, but in due course of time shifted to a different location (www.icexvi.blogspot.com). Why I did that I don’t remember, but ever since I wanted to write something different on this blog. It was while in office recently when I realised that after sports the thing I enjoy the most is reading. So I thought to myself why not write book reviews. This is how the idea was born.

What I will write here is of course not a professional review (for the simple reason that however I may try I am not that good yet). Hence I’ll use this space to present my views on the books I liked and what was different about them. I will also try and bring out what was novel or missing in them by comparing them to similar books if possible.

I’ll start by penning down about the latest book that I’ve read – mainly because it is fresh in my memory. It is titled “A Walk In The Woods” authored by Bill Bryson. Now for all non Bryson fans reading this, he is an American author now settled in Britain who writes just about anything, though mostly restricting himself to memoirs and travelogues. The moot point is that his books always scratch one’s funny side. He has this uncanny ability to bring a humorous touch to even the most mundane and serious topics. Some of his more popular ones are Neither here nor there, A short history of nearly everything and Life and times of the thunderbolt kid.

This one is his travelogue of the Appalachian Trail. In one of his crazy ventures Bill is enamoured by the woods and decides to hike the trail in its entirety. Despite clear indications from his family in opposition to his eccentricity, Bill thinks it to be a very noble thought with a healthy side to it. His first jolt though is even before he can take a step into the wilderness. Buying supplies for his adventure, Bryson realises that hikes in the new age are meant for millionaires. Actually not just millionaires, they are meant for geek millionaires. And it does not stop there. Without the zillion super specialist (and not to mention exorbitantly priced) attachments, the basic equipment (like a bag) is quite incapable in itself for you to survive the ordeal. The retailer would happily sell you a piece of equipment without which he says you could not live in the woods, only moments later to declare it useless without the even more expensive add-on.

Having survived the shopping spree and lived through incredulous looks of his wife our reborn Crusoe plans out the route, only to realise how big a feat he is about to undertake. Reading about the trail’s (mis)adventures, he suddenly feels the need for a companion both for physical and mental support. Only that it is slightly tough to find a guy who is ready to walk 2000miles through dangerous and intimidating terrain for no particularly evident motive. So Bill is mighty pleased when his childhood friend Stephen Katz calls him to offer his services as his hiking partner. Bill even casually brushes aside his wife’s reminder of his past experience with the good pal in Europe (please read ‘Neither here nor there’ for further info in this regard). All his fears are reborn the instant he meets Katz at the airport. For starters Katz is a perennially hungry, and he pretty much thinks that they’re off for a stroll in a relatively dense park with abundant resources at their disposal. That however does not prevent him from buying a little bit of everything to eat from the superstore in preparation to the trip.

Finally the day arrives when the two trudge out into the woods. Well, actually they catch a flight and then hire a cab to take them till the door step of the trail. The cabby is not particularly excited on seeing yet another hiking enthusiast, most of whom he says give up less than a week into the hike. Not very encouraging then, but our duo is motivated and committed – atleast till they hit the trail for good. Less than half a day into it and Katz has thrown off almost his entire ration, an act not much appreciated by his hiking mate. What goes on ahead is a vivid description of the travails of the trail, the salient points of which I will bring out subsequently.

Bryson says you will meet some of the most interesting and bizarre people on the trail. One such person they met was Mary Ellen. She considered herself a hiker par excellence and the rest, the scum of the trail. With a derogatory suggestion at everything – even as mundane as making morning coffee – she was certainly a nuisance noted by everyone on the trial who happened to be unfortunate enough to run into her (or the other way around). Our protagonists manage to give her a miss at their first stop and after an initial pang of guilt, are mighty relieved to have got rid of the pestilent lady. They manage to survive many torturous phases of the trail hardly enjoying any of the landscapes galore. Bill even contemplates that the trail is an exercise in futility made even tougher by the belligerent Forest Service. But this may just be the learning point of the book. He brings out lucidly the thoughtless destruction man has caused about in the woods with the officials giving nary a thought to the forests until recently. He also elucidates the origin of the trail and how it has fought for survival for almost a century.

The most prominent thing about the trail though has to be the “Bear”. I have written just “Bear” as no one is sure which kind of a bear one may come across on the trial. But one thing is for sure, not many have come across one who would have been particularly jovial in nature. Almost all the descriptions spoke only of attacking, hungry, savage beasts ready to pounce upon any human in sight. And then there are the ambivalent suggestions to counter a bear attack. One book describes the best way is to stand steady and look directly at the bear, while at the very next line mentions sometimes this ploy may not be the best and on occasions fleeing maybe the better option if the bear is not much in a mood to give chase. Another classic case is where the book suggests making lot of noise while hiking, thereby driving off the bears with the racket. However the book duly backtracks a couple of paragraphs later imploring the fact that the noise may attract/irritate the bears enough to cause it to attack the source of the noise. However the best suggestion is saved for the last, where the book says there is no fool proof way to escape a bear – if it decides to attack there is nothing much that can be done, hence it is best to avoid interaction with the beast. Very helpful then, the answer is simple; if you want to escape a bear attack, do not venture on the trail.

Bryson describes two types of hikers – “Thru” and “Section”. The former are the more adventurous variety who hike the trail in its entirety in a single attempt. There have been extremes in the thru hikers category wherein people have raced through the trail or taken ages to complete it. Both cases however have left the people concerned, shattered but smarter than before. Among the section-hikers, though there is no such excitement, but the buzz word here is perseverance. People as old as 85 have kept on with their commitment to complete the trail in bits and pieces, no matter how many attempts they have to make. The trail though can be a dangerous place due to unnatural reasons too. The most powerful predator – read human being – has not only been after the trees, but also after people out in the woods in search of peace and tranquillity. There have been multiple cases of murder (one during the period the author was out on the trail) and multiple books have been written on the issue. Nothing however deters the average hiker from going out there among the nature.

Talking of which, not many people nowadays see the trail as a way of bonding with nature. Most of them come out on a weekend ”picnic” sort of a trip, with soiling their expensive gear the last thing on their mind. Consequently roads and highways have propped up right through the forests making life miserable for flora, fauna and the hard core hiker. Even with the strong willed hiker, the urge to abstain from the luxury of the modern world is pretty tough to practise. Austerity – the author says – is one thing the trails attempts to teach you, though not many people end up learning the lesson in its spirit. After days in the trail even the remotest motel with the barest facilities seems heavenly and the small pleasures of life an indulgence.

Among these pleasures and perils the narration continues in trademark Bryson tongue-in-cheek humour. Both Bill and Stephen never manage to complete the trail (they were not even close), but they learnt enough along the way (least of all to get along with eachother). They had their hairy encounters, narrow escapes and breathless moments all in the period of these months spent together on the trail. The book is not meant to be a guide to any hiker, let alone the Appalachian Trail hiker. It is more of an expression of thoughts and views on the trail and the salient matters concerned with it. It is not a heavy read, neither a page turner but in the end you finish it with a smile on your face and a thought in your mind. What the thought may be varies with one’s outlook – you may join greenpeace, or jump out into the nearest forest reserve, or even start appreciating that warm shower and clean towels – but you are certainly not disappointed with the effort. Having said that, it’s not Bryson’s best effort when compared to his more illustrious ones. I would give it three stars and recommend it to someone looking for a light fun read, maybe for some laugh and a casual look into the merits and perils of hiking.

ALL ROUND JOY!!!

This weekend’s been really tumultuous. With two of the top clubs – and fiercest rivals – in the premier league going head to head, and one of the most surprising races of this year, there was certainly much to thank for the sports enthusiast (though that also depends on which side your loyalty lies).

Let me start with football. Liverpool vs Manchester United is a fixture that gets everyone excited every single time. This time the prelude was dominated by the transfer (and possible debut) of Dimitar Berbatov for Man U and the possible absence of the home heavyweights Gerrard and Torres. Both the rumours were vindicated as Sir Alex went for an aggressive 4-3-3 formation placing Berbatov alongside Rooney and Tevez; while his opposite number played safe by placing his aces on the bench and not risking injury. The veteran manger had the first laugh – and an early laugh at that – as Berbatov deceived Carragher along the right goal line to set up Tevez who stormed the ball past Pepe Reina. With just 2 minutes on the board, it seemed that the Kop were in for another humiliation by the hands of the red devils as so often in recent years. Man U were connecting well in the first half with the defence keeping solid to deny the home side any major attempt for the initial stages. The first sight of goal to the Merseysiders was gifted by Edwin Van Der Sar who miscued a corner and tapped it right into the feet of Dirk Kuyt. The Dutchman however could not capitalise as his weak shot rebounded off Paul Scholes at the line.

The Kop however had their lucky break at 27 minutes when a swerving kick from MOTM Xavi Alonso from 20 yards deflected off Patrice Evra and Van Der Sar could not deal with it well, only knocking it into the way of the retreating Wes Brown. The defender watched helplessly as the ball ricocheted off him and trudged into the net. If this was supposed to liven up Liverpool, it had that effect on the visitors instead with Tevez shooting over form six yards to let the home side off the hook going into the break.

There must have been some strong words said during half time, but it dint bring the change that the crowd was hoping for in the Liverpool ranks. Their mighty two were still on the bench, while Man U opted to bring on Giggs for Carrick possible owing to a knock the mid fielder received during the first half. But by now Liverpool were enjoying the extra space in midfield (courtesy United’s aggressive formation) with Masherano and Alonso troubling the United backs with regularity. They did not come close but were certainly enjoying more possession and thus control of the game. Finally as Gerrard came on for Benayoun amidst much cheer, one hoped this would just be the factor to tilt the balance (even as Hargreaves came on for Scholes). Gerrard seemed to have done just the opposite as a mistake from him almost cost his side a goal, only for Reina to smartly tip over Ryan Giggs’ lob.

Benitez decided to get more firepower by substituting Babel for Riera who had had an impressive debut, and it turned out to be a master stroke. With Liverpool already dominating, the impressive Mascherano managed to eke out a mistake from the usually faultless veteran. Giggs’ failed attempt to let the ball run out for a goal kick was pounced upon by Masherano, and Kuyt deftly sent it across to his compatriot Ryan Babel, who standing free at six yards stormed the ball into the net. As United poured forward with Nani (brought on for Anderson) providing extra impetus there were yet more counter attacks by the home side. Keane got clear in the mid field and Rio Ferdinand had no option but to bring him down and was duly shown a yellow card. Things however got ugly as substitute Nani and Vidic too received yellow cards in quick succession.

The misery for the visitors was complete when Vidic went for a rash header, elbowing Alonso hard on the face and knocking the mid fielder out. The referee had no option but to show a second yellow to the Man U player and give him his marching orders. But the add on effect of the lapse by Vidic means, he will miss the all important match against Chelsea which is up next. When even Sir Alex accepts after the match that his team were indeed outplayed by a stronger team on the day, then you really feel that Man U played badly. But there were goals galore on the day as Arsenal knocked four past Blackburn playing away with Adebayor getting a hat trick. Everton too won a five goal thriller against Stoke City.

Time to move on to Formula 1 then. The conditions at Monza were stormy – keeping in tune with the events about to come up north – and this worried the field as everyone opted for extreme wets during qualifying. But as much as the hot lap, it was the timing of the lap which seemed to count on the day. As Vettel timed his to perfection, the biggest losers were Kimi and Hamilton who did not make it to Q3 and finished 14^th and 15^th respectively. Meanwhile Fisichella had a minor triumph leading Force India F1 into Q2 for the first time in the current season. But all eyes were on the lad hailed to be the successor of Schumi, as one the smallest team on the grid captured pole at their home race. Title contender Massa meanwhile was way back in 7^th, but more pertinently quite ahead of his nearest rival Lewis Hamilton.

By the time of the race start conditions certainly did not improve and hence the organizers had to go for a start behind the safety car. The start itself was not as exciting as it may have been had it been a standing start. However with the incessant rain much was to follow. Poor Fisichella after having qualifying his best of the year and hoping for a points scoring finish, hit Coulthard in the 12^th lap and had to retire. While Kovalainen could not implement his plan of jumping Vettel at the start or in the initial laps, his team mate was driving as a man possessed. In his bid to keep his position in the championship intact he made short shrift the defending champion, Kimi Raikonnen. While Kimi would end the race with the fastest lap to his name, he could not match the aggression of the Brit in that phase of the race.

The first round of pit stops did not jumble things up much though some drivers did stop very late. The big names among the late stoppers were Hamilton and Kubica. BMW seemed to have timed their stop to perfection and it enabled Kubica to come out with fuel sufficient to take him to finish and intermediate tyres in the same stop. Hamilton chose to stick to the extreme wets and initially his choice seemed to be going well as he climbed upto second in the standings. With a little luck (namely rain) he could have challenged for a podium place surely if not a victory, and that would have been an amazing feat considering where he started the race. He however, later had to stop and change to intermediates, and that dropped him behind Massa again.

No such problems for Vettel who had the added luxury of driving amid no spray on an empty track. Even then he needed to be on his toes not to commit a mistake leading to a spin or crashing into the barriers, which would have been such a shame. Talking of which none of the other drivers (other than Fisichella) committed any mistake either, and all made it to the finish line. In the end it finished with Vettel emerging as the youngest GP winner in the history of the sport ahead of Kovalainen and Kubica. The two top title contenders finished 7^th and 6^th enabling Massa to chew off Hamilton’s lead to a solitary point. McLaren on the other hand edged closer to Ferrari in the constructors championship with just five points separating the two powerhouses now. The day though belonged to Vettel and the tiny Italian outfit, Scuderia Torro Rosso who proved that size does not matter always.

So that brought an end to a truly enjoyable “sports” weekend with upsets in both the main features. The race could be termed slightly more fun as that broke the duck for a team and a driver (and may be remembered as the day when a champion was born). Practically speaking Torro Rosso cannot hope much in the season ahead, but the title race is absolutely scalding hot heading into the most anticipated circuit of the year – the first night race in the history of the championship, at a brand new venue, on a brand new circuit. As for football, Man U have tougher times ahead and they just cannot afford to lose to Chelsea and trail their main rivals this early in the season. Chelsea too have their troubles with Terry being unavailable courtesy a red card during the weekend. All this is good news for sports fans who have really had a ball this year and the party just seems to go on and on........